Dumb & Dumber
As many of you know, we moved from California to Arkansas over two years ago.
I have thoroughly enjoyed being hickified.
I can now chew chaw, whittle wood, and play the banjo at the same time.
You'd have to see it to believe it.
I still have far too many teeth, but I'm working on rotting those out just as quickly as I can.
I've also become a Baptist.
It was either that or be ostracized from society.
I no longer do laundry; I do the "warsh."
I've gotten to know the college and church friends that my kids hang out with.
My son has a couple of locally born and bred buddies that I have nicknamed Dumb & Dumber.
Here's why:
Dumb's quotes:
"Tall people are more likely to get cancer. You know like President Lincoln. He died of cancer."
"Isn't leukemia what they use to treat cancer?"
"I hated school. I tried the reading thing and the math thing, but they never really worked for me."
"That guy is really good at pianoing."
"He swerved to hit an animal and ended up in a ditch."
"100% of all men are rapists. No, I got that wrong. 100% of all rapists are men."
Dumber's quotes:
"I want to grow my hair really long and have it flip up all around the bottom so I can carry stuff in it."
"God is like a giant orb with many eyes or a white knight who unsheaths his sword."
"Atheists don't believe there's a God. Agnostics don't believe it either, but they just don't know. It's a pun."
"We're having some missionaries from the Philistines stay at our house."
"Which Hitler are you talking about?"
So, do you think Dumb & Dumber are suitable nicknames for these guys?
posted by Jamie Dawn @ 12.3.08
48 Comments:
Jamie, those are good names for the guys. BTW, did you know a title can't be copyrighted as content can. So it is leagal if you want to change their names, at least your kid's.
Mrs. Jim is good at pianoing and violaing. We could have learned banjoing like you did as our church offered free lessons.
Yes, when you come to Houston please do visit some of our MANY Texas Sized parks.
..
Oh yes, we can change your name to A. Hoot??
..
Absolutely perfect names. Hilarious stuff to. Hicktified
Two years there? A few more and we'll have to send in a rescue team.
SO......JD, why on earth is your son hanging out with these people???
Are you sure you want your son hanging with them? How many pair of overalls do you own? A straw hat?
Are you serious? That's hilarious! You could have a monthly feature,...
And now boys and girls it's time for Dumb and Dumber's neighborhood.
G'day Jamie,
Thanks so much for the link to Doug's place. Will definitely check it out.
You could run a weekly competition to see if anyone can top the remarks by D & D - they're priceless!
My thanks, once again
David
OMG! This is almost as funny/sad as watching tribal life on the Discovery channel. People amaze me.
Man, that was a good laugh. No, I don't think Dumb and Dumber are suitable nicknames. I think those are the names their mamas gave them.
Having relative somewhat near you I do understand.
When my oldest and her cousin were about ten and spending the night at my aunt's house way past hickville, their 8 year old second cousin jokingly threatened them at bedtime:
"When ya'll go to sleep I'm gonna stick a spider up ya'lls butts"
Carly didn't believe him but Elle got freaked out and had a sleepless night.
They sound like escapees from Jay Leno's Jay Walking Allstars.
You've got some great book material there written by A.Hoot. Good suggestion Jim.
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum would work, too. Wow, JD, and I thought MIAMI had interesting characters...you have me beat! :)
The only thing that would make it better is if they had the haircuts.
This is frightening! I am assuming these quotes are for "real" and this scares the hell out of me....! Uneducated and Uninformed one would say, and possibly Stupid and Stupider...You are too kind, my dear...
Did these guys actually pass their classes in school??? Help!
:)
Well- Yah- the names fit!
But these boys still have time to learn!
( I once knew someone who thought 'isolated showers' meant it would 'hail!')
:)
Junie
Junie
ya lives in ark kansass? you poor child.
dumb and dumber... or twit and twitter... how about dumb and word for poop?
say hi to vada iffn youse sees her; she's gots lots of funnier things to say about ark kansass, but she moved there from takes ass
meow
I got a good laugh from this post, then realized that US Presidents come from there too.
I am praying for Dumb and Dumber.
that was great, and how old are these two??
fo' shizzle....true dat
oh my stars. i don't think any one would find these lines credible if they were in a sitcom or a movie. truth really is dumber than fiction sometimes! don't let those fellows near anything sharp ok?
WOW. Ladies & Gentleman: The future voters of America.
Ahhhhh, those Dumb and Dumber comments are all too common - I loved those!! Oh and after reading, "I still have far too many teeth.", I had to LOL imaging your toothless grin. Thanx for this mornings laugh. :)
As soon as I stop laughing (and thanking God that I don't live in Arkansas and praying that you don't think all Southern people are that incredibly stupid and understanding that Dumb and Dumber are international citizens (yes, incredibly I do mean world wide) I'll see if I can think of any better moniker than Dumb and Dumber. But don't hold your breath, lol!
Oh, and David sent me, great post
Sandi
Good names.
It's really sad to hear that you had to become a Baptist. May I suggest that you get outta there as fast as possible.
Ostracize? (Maybe they were talkin' bout that Baptist Hitler.)
Dumb & Dumber DID graduate from high school.
They are good kids.
They are respectful and say "Yes Ma'am."
They are funny even when they don't mean to be.
I think these kids sound like a lot of fun. I bet my two teenagers would get a kick out of them....they enjoy people who are 'unique'.
I'm glad I found you. Sent here from David's..
OMG!! Girl - you must walk around shaking your head all the time.
What a fantastic and funny post!!
btw - David sent me - and I'm glad he did..he made an excellent choice picking you today!
Over from David's. I'm gonna link you if that's ok? This is so funny.
I have no experience of Arkansas (or US) but have friends who did live there and described it to me.
Too many teeth? Chewin' chaw? And having to join church - my friends avoided this. I don't know how.
Dumb and dumber definitely. But sweet.
Thanks.
This was a fun laugh. I am sure they really are nice boys and just have a great sense of humor. I lived in the south a few years ago and was always refreshed by the different outlook on things.
Here is a quick funny though. A while back, we had cousins come up for a visit and do the big tour thing of our area. As I was pointing around at sites , I metioned the fact that Lewis and Clark came thru here as they explored uncharted country for the president. My cousins looked at me and said, "Really? They filmed Superman here?"
Perfect!
And I love the new 'wallpaper'!
as long as they're 'warshed in the blood' is all that matters.
These guys sometimes aren't as stupid as we think. They can hunt and fish a live off the land and not get lost. They can build a house, build a car, and most probably would be there to lend a hand anytime you need them.
That's how my kinfolk from Hicklahoma roll anyway.
I was ready to cast my vote when I heard Lincoln died of cancer. Just curious, do they books out there - you know, like history books?
Ralph
to funny....and this boy u homeschooled...hehe...(jk)
teenage boys are cute...
and I just wanted to say I love u jamie...there I said it.
They may not be the only ones in this country who are 'uninformed'.
You're on a roll JD. Keep em coming.
Hey, Jaime, I saw your post up at
David's. It's been a long time since I've stopped by, but I sure am glad I didn't miss this one. You mention these two often. I understand why now. What I am still curious about is, who ties their shoes. Oh wait! Arkansas. No shoes. Never mind.
There may not be any hope for Dumb, but Dumber, well now he may be a closet Southern philosopher. Some deep thoughts there for the creature "Neckus Redus".
First visit and I love LoVe LOVE your site! Jennifer
JD,
Do you ever think that you were sent to Arkansas to study the local "species" present there?
You're doing a fine job of it. :-)
oh i really REALly look forward to more reports on these boys. who needs to dream up blog fodder when it just lands in your lap!
toooo funny! thanks for the laugh. :)
btw i came over from david's orders.
I have a job for you at my blog.
It's not like big city folk don't say & do stupid things... look at the New York liberals ;-)
Stand aside ... let the "I want to grow my hair really long and have it flip up all around the bottom so I can carry stuff in it." through please. 'Cause that is WONDERFUL! Such a creatively warped imagination. That guy has something happening between those ears. (now what to DO with it?!)
Life sure is strange. Heck, I didn't have to leave So. California to get hickified. I just moved to the desert.
Life sure is strange. Heck, I didn't have to leave So. California to get hickified. I just moved to the desert.
Very nice JD!! Dumb and Dumber sounds like suitable names to me, or maybe Darrell and his other brother Darrell!
Don't go rotting your teeth out. No need for such drastic measures!!! Just get some of that black stuff and put on them so they look like they are gone, like folks do at Halloween!!
"The dumb Hitler, Fatso. Geez, you are weird."
I was here looking for an early front seat in church but the church wasn't open yet. Two of my grandchildren are here and my 13 year old grandson Dillon loved Dumb and Dumber and believes they sound like his friends.
howdie Jamie, I'm a first time reader and poster here. those is some right good quotes! keep writing 'em down and share when you can; they be priceless :)
How about Daryl and Daryl... pretty funny. I think you are holding your own down there.
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