Adventures with Grandad #4

This post is subtitled "No Butts About It!" My dad was lucky enough to be here when this TP saga unfolded.
I am serious about toilet paper. Not all TPs are alike, some are WAY better than others. As a matter of fact, one of Taylor's buddies spent the night and commented on how great our TP was. We take pride in our TP. Awhile back, I found a great TP called Tempo. My bohunkus greatly approved of this TP and its reasonable price. When I went back to purchase it again, it was nowhere to be found, and I was greatly distressed. Then, not long after that, Charmin came out with its newfangled Diamondweave TP, and lo and behold, my keen detective skills deduced that it was Tempo brand TP now packaged as Charmin Diamondweave and was being sold at a higher price. Even with the price hike, that glorious TP was too divine to pass up, so I began my deep devotion as a client of Charmin's Diamondweave, and there was happiness in all the land. I thought it odd that Tempo had suddenly shown up as Charmin Diamondweave, butt I was happy with the TP, so that's all that mattered. I shared my love of this great TP with my dad (whom I call Grandad), and he was actually looking forward to trying out this highly-touted TP that I'd raved so much about.
Here is a photo of what was originally Tempo, then became Charmin's Diamondweave brand:



So when Grandad came for a visit, he tried our bohunkus-friendly TP, and approved of it. You'd think that was the end of this story, butt NO!
Grandad and I were shopping in Walmart, and TP was on my list. I grabbed what I thought was my tried and true Charmin Diamondweave. It was in the same, exact packaging as my Diamondweave. Immediately upon opening the package of TP, I noticed that THIS diamondweave was NOT my beloved Diamondweave. See photo evidence pictured below and compare it to the original Tempo turned Charmin Diamondweave shown above:



You'll have to forgive these blurry photos, but I admit to being a newbie when it comes to the art of photographing TP. Clearly, you can see that although both TPs do indeed have diamond patterns, they are very different from one another. The only reason I was able to get a photo of the original Tempo turned Charmin Diamondweave is because I found a lone, single roll of it hiding away and fearing extinction. I now have that rare roll of TP hermetically sealed so that I may show it to my grandchildren someday and reminisce about the fabulous TP of the good, old days. I might be able to sell that roll on ebay for a fortune!
So you probably think THIS is the end of the story... Butt NO!
My dad and I went back to Walmart with TP on the shopping list, and what did my eyes behold?? Tempo brand TP was once again on the shelves, my original favorite TP that had mysteriously become Charmin Diamondweave which had just inexplicably changed without warning to a newer, lesser quality diamondweave. Butt sadly, Tempo had changed its diamond pattern too, also, as well. It was almost identical to Charmin's inferior diamondweave with which they'd just replaced their superior Diamondweave. Tempo brand just sported an extra diagonal line to their pattern. See for yourself:



So I bought some Tempo TP mostly out of spite against Charmin for changing the highly coveted Diamondweave my bohunkus had become addicted to. The original and highly desired pattern that my bohunkus longed for was no longer available in either Tempo or Charmin brands.
Needless to say, I was in a tizzy.
Next time, I rebelled and bought a cheaper and far inferior brand of TP. I was suffering for a cause.
I was lounging on the couch when Taylor came marching down the hall with a roll of the new, thin TP in hand. "What is this??!!" he yelled. I told him I was in rebellion due to the shenanigans being played in the TP industry at the expense of our emotional and bohunkusal well being. He was not at all happy and shouted as he left the room, "This is unacceptable!! I might as well use my hand rather than this stuff!!!"
Taylor decided to do some research, and he found out that Tempo is a testing brand for Charmin. They put out a trial TP in some markets under the Tempo name to see how well it does. If it does really well, then they package it using the Charmin name. If it does not sell well, then Charmin's name is not associated with it, and the product is discontinued.
What I want to know is WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND GOOD did Charmin mess with the incomparable, original Diamondweave? They had a perfect product as far as I'm concerned, and now I cannot purchase the TP to which my bohunkus has become accustomed.
I implore Charmin to reinstate their original Diamondweave pattern, so not only my bohunkus butt the bohunkuses of all my family and any guests we may have will know the comfort and soft strength of a truly great TP.
And Grandad and Taylor said... Amen!!!
At least one more Adventure with Grandad to come...